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Nobody does humor better than the Onion, so GTO will simply defer and give you this first couple paragraphs of an article from the satire news crew about how unemployed stem cell biologists pass the time:

A team of three out-of-work stem cell biologists announced Monday that, after four weeks of rigorous observation and field testing, the evidence conclusively shows that chief researcher Dr. Henry Rogers' dog Franklin likes beer.

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The former commissioner of the FDA has returned to the venture capital firm New Enterprise Associates as a special partner on the healthcare investment team.

Astronauts have edited yeast genes on the International Space Station in an experiment designed to show how cells repair themselves in space.

Emory University has found that two of its researchers failed to divulge they had received funds from China, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

In Science this week: influence of the nuclear genome on human mitochondrial DNA, and more.