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Cold Spring Horror

No one would deny that grad school can be tough, but the program at Cold Spring Harbor sounds downright totalitarian.

At least, it does according to twitter user @CSHLaboratory, who has set up a parody feed featuring "news" from the institution. In a string of consistently hilarious, intermittently profane tweets, the anonymous tweeter paints CSH as a dystopian landscape of abused postdocs and dictatorial PIs – a sort of North Korea of academe, if you will.

For instance, an announcement from last month detailing a new dining policy:

"We will be cleaning out the postdoc and grad student feeding troughs this weekend. Pls fill-up on food Friday, troughs will reopen Tuesday."

Or, this one, with travel suggestions:

"Lab Director does not like to see postdocs...out in the open on campus. Please use the tunnels when traveling between buildings."

Or this one, with a word of advice to conference attendees:

"Attention all conference attendees, those found on campus not wearing a name tag will be shot on the spot."

Stay safe out there, people.