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'We (Meaning I)'

In a satire on scientific publishing, E. Robert Schulman writes that "we (meaning I) present observations on the scientific publishing process which (meaning that) are important and timely in that unless I have more published papers soon, I will never get another job." Parodying the format of scientific paper, Schulman tackles topics such as the proper usage of "that" and "which" — "the most important thing to remember is that the word 'which' should almost never be used" — and peer review — "the journal editor will pick the referee most likely to be offended by your paper, because then at least the referee will read it and get a report back within the lifetime of the editor," the author writes. Be sure to read the entire paper, including the ever-so-important conclusion — "very easy to write: all you have to do is to take your abstract and change the tense from present to past," Schulman says — as published in Annals of Improbable Research.

HT: Miss Cellania at Neatorama