Bigfoot Fails His Test; Next Time He'll Study Harder

The DNA results from Bigfoot are in. At a press conference on Friday, Tom Biscardi, who hosts a weekly Bigfoot radio show, said that two of the three "Bigfoot" samples came back as human, and the third as opossum. Biscardi and the two hikers who found the animal also showed photographs of living creatures, which San Francisco Chronicle writer Steve Rubenstein calls "irrefutable evidence." He writes, "It was brown and fuzzy and looked very much like irrefutable evidence of a man in a gorilla suit."