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You, too, can SPEAK GENOMICS!!!

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Now is the BEST time to SIGN UP for the SPEAK GENOMICS! Learning Course!

This learning course is unique, interactive, and fun. And what’s more, with our SPEAK GENOMICS! LEARNING CDs or TAPES, you can pick up this critical life sciences skill AT YOUR OWN PACE!

 

The SPEAK GENOMICS! class sessions, held at TROPICAL RESORTS near many leading genomics conferences will cover six months of real-world Genomics language. You’ll be ready to:

• Confidently participate in GENOMICS CONFERENCES!

• Work in GENOMICS or POST-GENOMICS business development or marketing!

• Enter into GENOMICS COLLABORATIONS!

• Get your face on the cover of GENOME TECHNOLOGY MAGAZINE!

First we give you a sample of the real-world types of dialogue you will encounter, then we review with a dynamic, interactive SPEAK GENOMICS! vocabulary lesson!

 

Dialogue: In the conference hall

Tony: Sue, how’s your pipeline?

Sue: Robust. How’s your collaboration with bIG FoldProteomix?

Tony: You know that’s proprietary.

Sue: Right. But since we have the partnership to develop an integrated solution…

Tony: Yes we do. So what have you been doing to validate your platform lately?

Sue: We’re actually already productizing the downstream applications.

Tony: I see. Hold on. My cell.

Tony: (into cell) Oh, yes, yes, yes. (to Sue) It’s my VC. Gotta go.

Sue: OK. We’ll talk later. After the presentation.

 

Vocabulary:

By learning and memorizing just a few hundred vocabulary words in the GENOMICS and POST-GENOMICS lexicon, you will be well on your way to GENOMICS fluency.

Pipeline: Theoretically, products that are in the works. Realistically, a fictional tube full of the waste products from the hot air that you have blown at your venture capitalists to get them to fund your operation.

Robust: It might work. As in, our technology platform is robust. Ant. exploratory, experimental, innovative. As in, our technology is innovative, experimental, i.e., we have no idea if it will ever work.

Collaboration: a) An agreement between a hapless genomics company and a giant pharma in which the genomics company conducts free or nearly free R&D for the pharmaceutical giant in hopes of one day becoming the customer/supplier; b) an agreement in which two genomics/proteomics companies or other life sciences companies cling to one another to assure each other and the world that they are not going under; c) A crafty way for a genomics company to siphon revenue off of a more solvent company.

Proprietary: a) none of your business; b) we have no idea.

Partnership: See collaboration b) or c)

 

Integrated solution: Some of deez, some of doz, some of deez, some of doz …

Validate: Manufacture some hard data PDQ to show that your company and its products aren’t a total joke.

Platform: In the case of most startup companies, an overturned cardboard box upon which a phone, a sketch of a business plan, and an assortment of business cards are placed. In more mature companies, a collection of so-called “technologies” that are meant to work together but often do not.

Productize Downstream applications: a) An entirely meaningless term employed to stall for time. Similar to “Well then,” “ So,” in English; “Bon!” in French. b) somehow get something out of a completely experimental, exploratory (see above) technique.

Cell: a) a phone, not the basic unit of life

VC: a) God b) Mommy/Daddy c) Satan

Presentation: A ritual that occurs in a darkened, slightly freezing hotel ballroom in which first a computer malfunctions, then a series of PowerPoint slides accompany a few feeble jokes and a somewhat melodic lullaby of somnolence-producing numeric recitations.

— by Marian Moser Jones

The Scan

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A new study finds that women tend to participate less at scientific meetings but that some changes can lead to increased involvement, the Guardian reports.

Right Whales' Decline

A research study plans to use genetic analysis to gain insight into population decline among North American right whales, according to CBC.

Science Papers Tie Rare Mutations to Short Stature, Immunodeficiency; Present Single-Cell Transcriptomics Map

In Science this week: pair of mutations in one gene uncovered in brothers with short stature and immunodeficiency, and more.