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What Will Craig Do Now?


GT has a few predictions:

Stages a hostile takeover of NHGRI.

Buys a silver-bullet RV and follows Bruce Hornsby on tour.

Moves into Villa Vizcaya and goes dancing at Mangoes five nights a week.

Files a lawsuit against Celera to obtain rights to its human genome database on grounds that it’s his genome.

Attempts professional wrestling as Craig “The Body” Venter, and then becomes governor of Minnesota.

Pursues an acting career in Hollywood. First big role: plays James Watson in made-for-TV movie of “The Double Helix” on Lifetime. (Also starring Meg Ryan as Rosalind Franklin and Russell Crowe as Francis Crick.)

Next, stars in “A Beautiful Mind II,” then after getting passed over for the role of Captain Steubing in “Love Boat Forever,” he claims he has been typecast as brilliant.

Succeeds the late Dave Thomas as TV spokesman for Wendy’s.

Applies for job as Claire Fraser’s secretary.

Opens sports bar “J. Craig’s Joint” in the Holiday Inn in Montgomery Village.

Opens an assisted living surfing club for retired biotech execs with the slogan: “Chill out, dude. Speed no longer matters.”

Forms Venter Venture Partners.

Takes on full-time lobbying for Nobel Prize.

At helm of TIGR, teams up with Amersham Biosciences to develop drugs.

Accepts invitation from Henry Louis Gates to join the Afro-American Studies Department at Harvard.

Runs in 2002 to succeed Parris Glendening as governor of Maryland.

Hosts a Jerry Springer-style talk show for scientists — lab wear makeovers, professional rivalries duked out on camera, etc.

Assumes presidency of M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, complete with board seats at Enron and ImClone.

Signs a recording deal with an obscure record label and releases his first and only hit, a remake of “Endless Love,” a duet with Claire Fraser.

The Scan

New Study Investigates Genomics of Fanconi Anemia Repair Pathway in Cancer

A Rockefeller University team reports in Nature that FA repair deficiency leads to structural variants that can contribute to genomic instability.

Study Reveals Potential Sex-Specific Role for Noncoding RNA in Depression

A long, noncoding RNA called FEDORA appears to be a sex-specific regulator of major depressive disorder, affecting more women, researchers report in Science Advances.

New mRNA Vaccines Offer Hope for Fighting Malaria

A George Washington University-led team has developed mRNA vaccines for malaria that appear to provide protection in mice, as they report in NPJ Vaccines.

Unique Germline Variants Found Among Black Prostate Cancer Patients

Through an exome sequencing study appearing in JCO Precision Oncology, researchers have found unique pathogenic or likely pathogenic variants within a cohort of Black prostate cancer patients.