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Mass Speculation

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The GT wizard looks to the crystal ball for 2002 predictions. Anything can happen in this business.

 

Amersham Biosciences acquires three research universities in effort to defray technology transfer and licensing costs. As wholly owned subsidiaries, all patents filed by MIT, Stanford, and the University of Tartu will now belong to Amersham.

 

Martha Stewart discovers proteomics, introducing her new 2D-gel recipes with festive colors, nuts, and ideas for home protein separation projects that you can do in a weekend.

 

On the crafty side: DNAPrint Genomics capitalizes on its relationship with the Florida elderly and opens a DNAPrint shop in Boca Raton, where retirees can make wall-sized prints of their genomic pattern to hang over the couch in their south Florida condos, or give to their children and grandchildren.

 

While breaking ground for its new facility, Celera discovers an intact dinosaur of a previously unknown species. Drawing the interest of the global paleontology community, the company creates Celera Dino-Diagnostics.

 

DoubleTwist throws in the bioinformatics towel and leverages its branding to become a multi-billion dollar merchandizing company. Advertised on billboards throughout Silicon Valley and sold exclusively from the company’s headquarters, which is converted back into a department store, DoubleTwist bags, caps, T-shirts, and action figures become all the rage and a mainstay of hip-hop fashion, making regular appearances in music videos.

 

To commemorate their new partnership, Lion Bioscience and IBM will commission Pixar-exec-turned-Perlegen-CIO Greg Brandeau to create a full-length animated feature titled “The Big Blue Lion.” The film, in German with English subtitles, will feature the voices of Friedrich von Bohlen and Caroline Kovac. IBM will eventually pull out of the deal, however, when animators insist on using Silicon Graphics workstations.

 

Japan, surprising the world, takes a quantum leap into the post-genomics economy by unveiling its secret transistor-sized Genomic B.S. Decoder, a device that can actually differentiate between the speech patterns of a CEO who has a legitimate business plan and those of one who is just trying to take advantage of venture capital funding.

 

The Scan

Tens of Millions Saved

The Associated Press writes that vaccines against COVID-19 saved an estimated 20 million lives in their first year.

Supersized Bacterium

NPR reports that researchers have found and characterized a bacterium that is visible to the naked eye.

Also Subvariants

Moderna says its bivalent SARS-CoV-2 vaccine leads to a strong immune response against Omicron subvariants, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Science Papers Present Gene-Edited Mouse Models of Liver Cancer, Hürthle Cell Carcinoma Analysis

In Science this week: a collection of mouse models of primary liver cancer, and more.